What's in your kid's lunchbox?
The other day when I picked my son up from preschool, he stopped me with a screeching halt in front of his classroom door. I watched him as he sneaked into his classroom cubby and stuffed something in his jacket pocket.
It’s in his natural to hide things. His bedroom is a junk collector’s dream, but a mother’s nightmare. I asked what he needed to get and he pulled a cookie from his pocket. “Sydney gave it to me from her lunch. She said I could have it.”
I encourage healthy eating habits with my kids, but don’t act as the junk food police. I believe in setting boundaries rather than patrolling my kids’ lives. I reply, “Well, that was generous of her.”
He slipped the cookie back in his pocket and shuffled toward the water fountain. It’s part of our routine. Between slurps he notes, “It came with her Lunchable. Her mom packs them everyday.”
My heart sank…
This child eats Lunchables every… single… day for lunch. And she’s only 5-years old.
A week or so before, I greeted my daughter at the school gate and she slumped into my arms. I can read her mood like a crystal ball… mostly because she’s just like me.
I ask what happened and she replied, “Whenever I open my lunch at school, the kids always say mean things.”
I prompted for more information. She retorted, “Like that the food I eat is gross. But they all come to school with Nerd Ropes for lunch.” My daughter always has fresh fruits and veggies, and likely a home-cooked meal in her lunchbox.
I questioned, “Nerd Ropes?” If you don’t know what a Nerd Rope is, picture a 2 foot long gummy worm wrapped in Nerds candy.
“Yeah, their moms even write notes on them that say they are for lunch. I don’t get it.”
Well, I am glad she doesn’t get it. I am not glad that they don’t get it either. The parents, I mean.
I used to teach middle school. Our school budget was pretty tight because we were self-governed rather than run by the county. That meant we needed to come up with a lot of our own extra funding. But our lunch staff always had a fresh salad bar out for the kids.
I’ve been to public schools. I’ve seen the fare, and I must say that I don’t think it’s any worse than what a lot of these parents are packing in lunchboxes.
Please note this is a generalization. Bless you if you pack healthy foods to nourish your kids’ brains during their strenuous school days.
But, I will say that what I saw a majority of my 7th and 8th graders bring to school made my stomach churn.
Some kids would eat a bag of chips for lunch. Others would guzzle down a can of Monster and a pack of Airhead candy.
Is it really that hard to pack your kid a decent lunch?
I know most parents opt to pack lunch because they don’t like what’s served on the school menu. But, you are doing your child an injustice if you send him off to school with nothing but high fructose corn syrup.
And for the record, all this crap about natural sugar being added back into processed products… it’s just that… crap.
There is a minute structural difference between table sugar and HFCS. It’s minimal. They are both still harmful to the immune system, insulin regulation, and both promote obesity and diabetes.
I don’t think the school lunch system is perfect, but it beats the hell out of Lunchables and Nerd Ropes.
As parents, it’s our sole job and life’s duty to protect our kids. We clock convicted sex offenders with apps for our phones, but we can’t make a decent meal for our kid’s lunchbox?
Where do you draw the line when it comes to protection? Okay, so it might not be safe to send your kid out to play in the front yard. After all, the news is really good at reporting terrible stories of kidnappings.
That happens a couple times a year right? But do we pay attention to the obesity epidemic? How about the rise of type 2 diabetes in kids? The links between poor nutrition and behavioral disorders? Digestive disorders? Do you ever think that your child is at risk of heart disease? No, not in his 60’s, now!
Our kids have an astronomically greater chance of developing disease linked to poor nutrition than they do of being kidnapped or hit by a car, but is that what crosses our minds when we send them off to school.
No.
We think about that weird guy we saw at the park last night. He’s not from around here, is he?
We focus on every little thing that might be looming around the corner waiting to harm our kids, when our kitchens are filled with thousands of calories worth of silent killers.
It’s common sense.
Nutrition is common sense.
We KNOW what we should be eating.
We KNOW what we should be feeding our kids.
What do you bring for lunch? Is there a Nerd Rope in your lunch sack too?
I highly doubt it.
But we appease our children with food-affection to make up for our absence.
Stop doing it.
Comfort foods will not replace the love you show when you nourish your child’s body. There is no greater love and protection than to teach your child how to care for himself.
How to nurture growth and development. How to nourish healthy brain function, and provide sustainable energy so that he can run as carefree children run.
How to prevent disease through what nature provides. How to stay off medication. How to teach his own children proper health and wellness.
I had no idea where this would lead me, but right now I feel tense. I feel breathless and shaken.
It’s not the schools’ or the government’s responsibility to feed your kids properly.
It’s your responsibility as a parent.
Please forgive me if I offended you, but enough is enough.
Love,
Kellie
Mother Fitness was born from a great community of women who all strive to achieve optimal health through education and experience. I invite you to join the conversation by adding comments, sending in posts, and emailing me with any questions or concerns. This is your community.
I don’t have kids, but all I can say is, “I agree.”
Hell, my dog eats better than most people. I feed her fruits and veggies and she loves them.
Glad you said this, because someone needed to.
I just fed my doggy a bowl of yams.
Thanks for agreeing on the subject. You’re valid is saying that it’s not just an issue with kids.
I’m so glad you said this! Someone needed to say it. When they get in high school they eat rice (and chips) for lunch. It’s kinda gross.
Yes, high school is even scarier. Especially for girls.
A parent’s job is to provide his or her child with the necessary tools to be happy and indepdenent. If a parent fails to provide the basics in terms of nourishing the mind, body and soul then surely that is a sign that the problems run deeper and from much futher back. I was watching a programme on tv about obese children and one mother stated that she overfed her child because she went without as a child…they used to have to beg for food. She went in completely the opposite direction. She wasn’t overfeeding her son on purpose: she thought she was loving him, giving him what she never had: abundance. However she failed to realise that she had to impose limits. Sometimes parents need educating as much as the children. The problems run beyond the current generation of children. They stem from at least 1 generation before…
Thanks for writing this article Kellie. Hope it provides some good discussion around some dinner tables.
Yes! So much of it has to do with guilt. “But we appease our children with food-affection to make up for our absence.” Food is a source of love and affection, or to fulfill what we think is missing in the lives of our children. But it’s the wrong food. Grow a garden with your kids. Teach them to cook. Stop buying video games and expensive toys so you can afford better food. Stop making excuses.
Ah, I know you get me, Rebecca. I know you do.
I remember begging my mom to let me try a lunch-able when I was in like grade 3…. I saw everyone else eating them and wondered why I had to have a homemade sandwich with and apple and carrots…. but then one day she let me try it. I remember the “meat” was rotten, or at-least tasted rotten and the crackers and “cheese” were like eating wood.
I never asked for one again :/
I totally agree about the horrible lunches 95% of kids are sent to school with. My mom is a Teacher’s Assistant and when she supervises the lunch room she is always appalled.
Yes, they are rather enticing since they now come with fruit drinks and candy. My kids used to always ask for them, but they tired of hearing ‘no’.
I agree 100%. I felt myself becoming tense just reading it! My eyes started scanning faster and faster across the words and I found myself shaking my head in approval.
It really is heart wrenching that some parents can’t see past the sugar laden haze and feed their kids wholesome foods.
I am not a parent, but I know that if/when I am one my kids will NEVER eat McDonald’s on my watch
My stepkids don’t eat McDonald’s when they are with us – they know it makes Anne “sick” so they don’t even ask. I even let them buy lunchables for lunch (after we had been making sandwiches and taking them every day for picnics). The kids refused to finish them and never asked for them again!
Yes, it’s the candy that lures them in. My kids don’t really like fastfood… well, my son does… but jsut for the toys. I can’t wait for the toy to come out of the kid’s meal. Then, good-bye fastfood!
It’s funny because yesterday I was thinking to myself (while driving about), what influence parents actions and words have on children (don’t know why I was thinking this as I have no children). Anyway, I was thinking more specifically if a child adopts the parents’ negative beliefs, then how will anyone else teach them anything else? As children, we think our parents know best, and kids will often defend their parents’ beliefs when challenged.
I guess my point is, if sending your kids to school with junk is something you actually don’t believe in but, due to time, stress or guilt give into it, it’s worth noting that your kids will most likely think that you believe these foods are ok. In later life, it is very difficult to re-educate a mind that is inwardly saying “but my mum let me, so it must be ok” or “it didn’t do me any harm”.
Oh I know why I was thinking about this. Certain parts of Belfast, like any city, are full of rougher people than others. These areas never really change over time, as they all remain run down, full of people who don’t work, and full of kids who are trouble-makers. Their parents and possible grand parents have been all the same before them. Even though the majority of everyone else in Belfast is so OVER “the troubles” here, there is a select minority who seem to continue it on. The most disturbing thing is, that it’s now the teenagers who are on the front lines – they have seen and heard their parents and have adopted their beliefs. Maybe they do it to make them proud, or because they know no different. But talking to them is useless, because they all believe their parents are right!! This is an extreme example, but it shows just how much influence parents have over shaping their children’s future.
Give children a chance and show them the difference. More parents need to reinforce their knowledge and experience with positive actions.
Sorry for rambling again, but once I start… lol
Great article! I am loving your blog Kellie
I find it so hard to believe, after so much publicity and education about junk food, that this STILL happens?? Do people just not think these negative things will happen to their kids?!
It makes me angry for sure.
Cheers
Marianne
Yes, it is very hard to change the status quo. Especially when industrial food manufacturers pump out newer and “healthier” versions of junk food. Like the 100 calorie snacks. Brilliant marketing, terrible food. Snack foods may be shrinking in size, but they are not getting any healthier.
It’s funny… when I bring a treat to school for my child’s class, I always bring a variety of fresh fruit. The kids fight over and beg for seconds. My daughter’s teacher last year even stated, “Do you know how many of these kids have probably never been served fresh fruit at home?”
How do you respond to that? I know healthier foods are expensive, but I live in a upper-middle class neighborhood. Money is definitely not an issue here. It’s lack of response to the decline health in our society.
AMEN!
This is a HUGELY important topic for me. Right now we are sending our kids to a private Montessori School, and one of the blessings of that is that there is no cafeteria, and we pack them healthy lunches every day. On the downside, my 1st grader has gone from eating a salad that I packed him in kindergarten, to this year, complaining about what I send him, or even worse–not eating what I send him! (Homemade chicken noodle soup? Came back uneaten!) He is feeling the pressure of wanting to eat what other kids eat, even though the school sends out guidelines and forbids HFCS in lunches (another definite “pro” of our school), he has asked for Lunchables and Cheetos repeatedly. Though I know we are doing the right think by teaching our sons about health and nutrition, I do feel like I am constantly questioning their choices; so I like what you said about providing boundaries and not policing them. I need to work on that. I have loosened the reins lately, allowing them to have some things that were formerly forbidden….not to appease any guilt I have, but to let them feel “normal” and so that they don’t completely go overboard when I am not around!
I am scared to death of what choices they will make when they do enter the public school system and are faced with cafeteria food…that is part of why we make such an effort in our home to eat healthy and talk about WHY it’s important to make good choices. My 1st grader is starting to get it, which makes me happy. (He asked for a salad instead of fries when he was out with my mom the other day!)
Thank you for this post, it’s so important!!!!
Wonderful insight, Jayme. My youngest is the same way. If we let him, he would dine on chips and candy all day. And that is NOT the norm in our house. Unless we have a party or holiday, we do not keep junk food in our house.
It’s just constantly educating and reinforcing positive influence. Some children just fall in line, and others want to know “why”. Why do I have to eat this when my friends don’t? And sometimes even after answering “why” they still resist.
It’s getting the right information in the right way. And it’s harder to figure out with some kids more than others. My daughter is a health nut. She loves learning about nutrition and science and how the body works. My son could care less, he wants what tastes good and satiates his appetite. But he is five. I think as they grow older, they learn to better appreciate the love and effort you put into their health.
Heck, I think just having less sick days and more energy is a pay-off enough for the kids, even if they don’t quite understand the nutritional value of what you prepare for them.
THANK YOU! I’m pregnant with my first and am already looking forward to feeding/packing my child nutritious foods when he/she starts school. I know, I’m way ahead of myself here. Another thing that get’s me going is when parents eat better than their children because they know that their child’s metabolism is fast. I have a friend who competes in fitness competitions and eats so clean and perfectly while she feeds her kids doritos and frozen meals all the time. I don’t get it!
Congrats, Em! That is so exciting. It all starts with how you nourish your body while pregnant. I honestly think so. This may be presumptuous, but while pregnant with my daughter, I ate 100% vegetarian, very healthy diet. I watched my simple carb intake and loaded up of fresh fruits and veggies. She is a health nut. My son… I pigged out. I ate terribly when pregnant, had a high risk pregnancy, and didn’t start eating well again until 2 years after he was born. And he loves sugary junk.
Not saying that they are preconditioned in the womb… but I think that how you nourish your body during and after pregnancy directly related to how your children will view food growing up.
You can never plan ahead too much. It’s wonderful that you think of your child’s future and wish to nourish him/her consistently.
I also know a few competitors who would dump their kids in the gym daycare for 2 hours while they trained… loading them down with cookies, chips, and candy. I honestly think it’s psychological. Feeding them what they desire, or making up for their absence. Does that make sense?
Thanks again and best wishes!
Oh my goodness I couldn’t agree with you more! I am dealing with this very issue with my daughter who is only five years old and in Senior Kindergarten in Ontario, Canada.
When she opens up her snack bag I normally have some fresh fruit for her like grapes or mangoes or strawberries or some flax seed crackers with some water and usually a little note that says I love you. But these other children have started to tease her that her snacks are yucky, how can grapes be yucky I ask you? So I ask my daughter to tell me what they have in their snack bags and she tells me that they have fruit roll up bars (pure sugar candy, that sticks to your teeth) or chips or a chocolate bar, insert sigh here!
Now I am lucky that my daughter at five has a good head on her shoulders and she tells the kids that tease her that her lunch is nutritious and that her Mommy loves her! I think this problem is only escalating my friend who is a registered dietitian has been telling me that she is over booked with patients who have diabetes when will people begin to see the relationship between the two matters?
My thoughts were always educate my girls when they were young about good foods and a healthy body image and then they would have the right foundation to build from. But don’t get me started on little girls and body image!
Love following this site!
Cindy
Kudos to you Cindy! And kudos to your little girl for understand the importance of healthy eating. That’s all that matters. It is sad what these kids view as gross. Hopefully we can change the world one child at a time.
I do want to write a post on girls and body image. It’s such a vastly detailed and intricate topic. And it starts so early. I am starting to notice how my daughter’s body language changes around boys and it frightens me… she’s only 8! Good heavens.
Thanks for being a part of our community!
I have my kids pack their own lunches –but they’ve got guidelines: a protein, a fruit, and a whole grain. They do OK, but even in Jr. High my daughter has gotten teased for her lunch. Although I agree with what you have said, I also think that treats once in a while have their place. My 6 year old asked me two days ago –why can’t we have treats every day, and I was able to explain that that’s what a treat is: it’s a once in a while thing, and that’s why it’s a treat. If it’s every day our hearts get sick, we get fat and we get what’s called cancer. I didn’t “sugar coat” it. However, I was brought up eating no sugar ever –no exceptions, and as soon as I became a teen I started eating every junk food in sight. I don’t want that for my kids. I’m hoping teaching the once in a while rule will help them create long term habits.
Great ideas! Yes, I think there is definitely a line between controlling and educating. You give your kids the tools that you were not provided and they can better grasp why things aren’t good for them. I am so glad you have this wonderful balance. Thank you for sharing, Amara. you always add great things to the conversation.
One of my goals as a parent is to never buy lunchables. Yes, that is an easy goal.I really like your point about ignoring the pour food choices leads to many problems later in life, yet get very excited about stranger dangers.
That’s a great goal, Georgia!
Sometimes, letting kids teach other kids is so much more effective that going for the parents. I feel fortunate that my daughter attends a public charter that has healthi-ER fare than your state-issued lunch. She takes left-overs from dinner such as: brown rice stir fries, pasta with meat sauce, salads, fresh fruit, nori, etc. The result has been that her friends ask about her food, have even tried it, and have been asking their parents for the same and have been successful!
The school also has a “no junk” policy for those who bring their lunch. But, many times parents really do not know what is good. And, let’s face it, when you are truly into fitness, like this audience is the standards go way up. I have so many kids come to school (I’m a teacher)with colorful, sugar-filled yogurts or candy-filled granola bars. But, as far as some parents are concerned, it’s “yogurt” and a “granola bar” and they must be healthy.
So, my contribution is going to be a series of seminars for parents and students, this summer. Will it help? Maybe. But, it certainly couldn’t hurt.
Hurray, Kassandre! That is so true. It says ‘healthy’ so it must be, right? Thanks so much for your insight. I am so glad your daughter has sparked a movement in her lunchroom. I pack the same things for my daughter, and some kids beg for her lunch, while others turn their noses up.
Regardless, you are doing a wonderfully positive thing for your community, so kudos to you!
I used to teach a three year old classroom and the kids were supposed to bring their own lunches every day. One mom sent her daughter with what was supposed to be lunches for a month. It was a large garbage bag filled with cookies, chips and juice boxes, and nothing else…a three year old. 100% true story.
Sadly I believe it. My son will refuse to eat lunch if his school serves anything processed haha.
Amen! I am so sad and outraged that Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution was just pulled from the air. Did you see the first two episodes where he was shut out of the LA school district? The sugar demonstration was alarming. Why are more people not freaking out over the junk that is being foisted onto our kids?
Hey, I absolutely love the letter that you have written Kellie. I agree 110% with everything you say. I pack healthy foods, my kids don’t know any different. Or should I say ‘DIDN’T’. I am a foster parent and sometimes new children initially struggle because they have never seen or even heard of most of the food we eat, which is scary, they all leave loving healthy alternatives and will often choose theirselves the healthy options.
Unfortunately I have a particular problem child who is encouring my other children to follow her lead. She takes her lunch from home, will sometimes eat it or toss it and then she will eat her friends food, originally she was stealing it, but after some counselling she stopped stealing but still continues to let her friends give her lots of junk food everyday. I don’t know how to get her to stop, I feel I have no control, if it was just her I could manage, but she has affected all the children in the house and now everyone is obsessed with wthat “the other kids get” and are trying to get their friends to share their food with them as well. I’ve gone from having my children love and choose healthy choices, to demanding junk.
Does anyone have any ideas, I’m desperate to get my family back on track?
We don’t have school lunches here so I can’t use that as an option.
Sonja